It’s hard getting old.
Because what that means is I’m not hip anymore.
I used to be the cool girl. The one who could rattle off Valley Girl gibberish in my native tongue.
I had rad hair and wasn’t afraid to take fashion risks.
(Think bright orange jumpsuit when jumpsuits weren’t a thing.)
I wore that outfit like a boss, never crossing my mind that I might look like a gigantic pumpkin.
You could see and hear me a mile away as I rattled down the high school hallways with bangles up to my elbows and a huge bow topping my big 80s hair.
I was a total babe.
Today my risky fashion moves consist of the occasional gray and my favorite pair of Converse - but only on the days when I’m feeling a little extra.
Did you get that?
It’s the new term that means, well, extra.
But you use it weird.
I discovered the word “extra” from one of my daughter’s tweets.
“I aspire to be this extra during the holidays” was the caption in a tweet accompanied by a house filled with over-the-top Christmas decor.
I had to read it thrice before it made sense.
So I started using the word flippantly, like when making breakfast.
“These eggs are so extra,” I announced one morning to The Husband.
When I didn’t get a response, I waited until we were having lunch at Soup & More to try again.
“This sandwich is so extra,” I said.
He looked at me over the top of his reading glasses like I was an idiot.
Feeling dejected, I brought my new term to work and tried it out on the ultra-hip news editor Autumn Owens.
“That story you wrote on the SISD projects was extra,” I said.
She never looked up from her computer and I’m pretty sure I heard her laugh when I walked back to my office.
I really hate that I can’t pull off sounding like a Millennial.
Why should they be the only ones allowed to use cool words?
I turned to Google for help.
Google told me the word has to do with being dramatic.
Being extra means flamboyancy, over-the-top language or dress.
In other words, my chances of being called extra range from zero to nonexistent.
And trying to use the word correctly just isn’t worth the ridicule.
I’ll be staying far away from dipset, phubbing and Hundo P.
If you want to know what they mean, ask Google.
I give up.
Sara Vanden Berge is the managing editor of the Empire-Tribune and Glen Rose Reporter. She can be reached at 254-965-3124 ext. 240 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow her on Twitter @ETeditor.