In 1982, a movie was released entitled “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.”  In this movie, Charles Durning played the governor of Texas. One of Durning’s musical numbers was a song called “The Sidestep.” If I might be so bold as to quote a portion of that song:

Now my good friends, it behooves me to be solemn and declare,

I’m for goodness and for profit and for living clean and saying daily prayer.

And now my good friends, you can sleep nights, I’ll continue to stand tall.

You can trust me, I promise, I shall keep a watchful eye upon ya’ll. . .

Ooh I love to dance a little sidestep, now they see me now they don”t-

I’ve come and gone and ooh I love to sweep around the wide step,

Cut a little swathe and lead the people on.

This past Monday morning, I was watching Savannah Guthrie and Matt Lauer interview Kellyanne Conway concerning the president’s tweets accusing former President Obama of personally ordering wiretaps of Trump Tower during the 2016 election. 

It was Ms. Conway’s responses to the Today Show host’s questions that reminded me of the song from “Best Little Whorehouse.”  When asked about the wiretap tweet she responded that the president had used the term wiretap as an all-inclusive term to include many forms of electronic surveillance, not just a wiretap. 

I heard her say that microwaves could have been used.  When asked if there was evidence, she managed to sidestep that question.  From the smiles on the faces of Guthrie and Lauer, I suspected that the whole interview was very frustrating because they could not get a straight answer from their guest.

Later in the day I watched some of Sean Spicer’s press conference.  When asked about the president’s accusations, Spicer also stated that the president did not believe that Obama had personally wiretapped his residence and office but that the President had used the word to mean all forms of surveillance.  These individuals, Conway and Spicer and others are forced into dealing with “alternative facts” and restating what the president actually meant.  It sometimes makes me uncomfortable watching aides have to cover for missteps from the president.

Let me quote from the song again because it reminds me of the president:

Fellow Texans, I am proudly standing here to humbly say.

I assure you, and I mean it-Now, who says I don’t speak out as plain as day?

And, fellow Texans, I’m for progress and the flag-long may it fly.

I’m a poor boy, come to greatness.  So, it follows that I cannot tell a lie?

My other observation from the performances Monday is that Kellyanne and Sean would be excellent dodgeball participants. 

From the movie, Coach Patches O’Houlihan states; If you’re going to become true dodgeballers, then you have to learn the five d’s of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge!”  Poor Kellyanne and Sean; every time they are interviewed or meet the press that is what they have to do.  What did the president mean? Dodge!  Does he have evidence? Duck! Those are alternative facts. Dip!  Can you get him to stop tweeting? Dive!  Do you enjoy your job? Dodge!

Bob Newby is an educator and Erath County resident. He is a member of the E-T's community columnists and can be reached at newby@lipan.net.